DECISIONS
Part 3
“Damaging Decisions”
1 Samuel 18:1 “Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.”
19:1 “Now Saul spoke to Jonathan his son and to all his servants, that they should kill David; but Jonathan, Saul’s son, delighted greatly in David.”
20: 30-31 “Saul boiled with rage. “You fool!” he yelled at him. “Do you think I don’t know that you want this son of a nobody to be king in your place, shaming yourself and your mother? 31 As long as that fellow is alive, you’ll never be king. Now go and get him so I can kill him!”
Hebrews 12:14-15 “Try to stay out of all quarrels, and seek to live a clean and holy life, for one who is not holy will not see the Lord. 15 Look after each other so that not one of you will fail to receive God’s grace. Watch out that no bitterness takes root among you, for as it springs up it causes deep trouble, hurting many in their spiritual lives.”
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I wanted to read the passages about Saul, Jonathan, and David before reading the Hebrews passage about the root of bitterness…
…because the very thing Hebrews describes is what we see played out with them.
In our story, Saul has developed a root of bitterness against David.
It all began when Israel was coming back from fighting the Philistines and the women were singing what had become an Israeli hit song:
“Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands.”—1 Samuel 18:7
The Bible says, “Then Saul was very angry, and the saying displeased him, and he said, ‘They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed only thousands. Now what more can he have but the kingdom?’”—vs. 8
Saul felt immediately jealous and threatened.
It says, “So Saul eyed David from that day forward.”—vs.9
Saul missed the moment that Hebrews speaks of when he could have, under God’s grace, given his offense to God, forgiven the women that sang the song, and trusted God with his future.
But he didn’t.
His initial resentment of David soon morphed into bitter hatred.
And in the passages we read, Saul wants his son, Jonathan, to pick up his offense toward David.
He is furious that Jonathan won’t pick up and carry the same offense and bitterness.
He sees Jonathan’s refusal as a betrayal of their father/son relationship.
Saul’s attitude is, “If you loved me as you should, you would be against him like I am!”
“You would come over to my side!”
So Jonathan is placed in a terrible pressure cooker—his loyalty to his dad over his loyalty to his dearest and closest friend.
To his eternal credit, Jonathan refused to take up his father’s offense, and the lineage of David, which brought forth Christ Jesus, was protected.
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So what we see in Hebrews 12:14-15 is that Christians face the same test.
Will you forgive an offense as Saul should have, or will you harbor it—which is a DAMAGING DECISION.
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Here’s why—When we refuse to forgive, the offense we have experienced has only one way to go…
…It will develop into a root of bitterness.
The phrase “root of bitterness” means “an embittered (resentful) spirit.”
The choice to not forgive becomes like a poison plant that puts down roots in the soil of your soul.
Once it puts roots down, it begins to grow up out into the open—like a weed.
And Hebrews says when the ROOT bears FRUIT “it causes deep trouble, hurting many in their spiritual lives.”
Because a bitter spirit always spills out onto others in words and actions.
A bitter spirit wants company, just like Saul wanted Jonathan to join him in his hatred of David.
Saul began spewing out all kinds of terrible things against David from his bitter spirit.
I call an offense that becomes a bitter spirit getting spiritually skunked.
Spiritually speaking, you have been sprayed with the stench of a festering offense!
Once this happens it will go through three predictable stages as seen with Saul.
FIRST, he:
I. Nursed it
Saul held onto the offense inside.
He coddled it, indulged it, pampered it.
He did everything but get rid of it!
At this early stage of the offense he could have handled it thru God’s grace and gotten it out of his spirit.
But he didn’t.
According to Hebrews, God will always extend His grace at the moment of an offense to empower us to forgive and move on.
If we resist his grace like Saul did, it will go to the next stage, where Saul:
II. Rehearsed it
“So Saul eyed David from that day forward.”—vs 9
The Hebrew reads, “Saul eyed him with suspicion from then on.”
He’s hitting the rewind button back to the offense over and over again.
How dare the women sing such a song?
How could they?
Don’t they know who their king is?
As he nursed and rehearsed it, roots began growing down into his soul.
—The constant rehearsal of an offense is the water the poisonous plant of bitterness needs in order to put down roots.
David is now living rent free in Saul’s head 24-7!
And now that the roots are down, there’s only one place for the bitterness to grow—upward into the open.
Once you’ve nursed it and rehearsed it, you will invariably:
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III. Disperse it
The bitter person carrying an offense will always seek to gather others to their side.
Remember that skunk?
The bitter person will always, like Saul, want others to come to their side and be offended with them!
They want others to turn on the object of their offense just like they have.
So they spew their offense to whoever will listen.
Saul dispersed his offense to Jonathan and ultimately to the entire kingdom!
If you sided with him you were his friend.
If you didn’t side with him you were his enemy.
When Michal his daughter saved David’s life by helping him escape from Saul, he said to her,
“Why have you deceived me like this, so that he has escaped!”—19:17
He even blamed his own men, playing the sympathy card:
“There is not one of you who is sorry for me or reveals to me that my son (Jonathan) has stirred up my servant against me…”—22:8
Translated: How can you say you care about me and not take up my offense against David?
And this is what offended people do—they begin defining friendship and loyalty by whether or not you will carry their offense and go over to their side.
You’re either with them or against them.
Everything now revolves around, not the kingdom of God, but the offense they carry.
This is how families, businesses or churches are damaged and split.
It all comes down to which side are you on.
Rather than Jesus and the kingdom, the offense is now what defines your family, or business, or church!
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ILLUS: If I walked up to you carrying a skunk and asked you to hold it, would you let me hand you a fully loaded skunk?
No!
No one wants to get sprayed with that awful stench!
Yet spiritually speaking we readily allow someone to hand us their skunk (offense) which also stains you with the stench of offense!
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ILLUS: walk it down
When you take up another person’s offense:
It changes your countenance,
Steals your peace, and
Chases away God’s anointing on your life!
Now YOU are all about the offense, and NOT about the kingdom of God!
Offense is a weapon from Satan!
In fact, the very word OFFENSE is from a Greek word meaning TRAP!
This is why the verse says, “as it springs up it causes deep trouble, hurting many in their spiritual lives.”—Heb 12:15
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So here’s some takeaway truths:
1. Taking up an offense does not prove friendship or love.
In fact, the highest love is to encourage the offended person to forgive and get free.
2. Taking up someone’s offense never solves the problem, it only makes it worse and transgresses Jesus’s words (Matt. 18:15).
3. Taking up someone’s offense is to join hands with Satan who is called “the accuser of the brethren.”
So if you’ve taken up someone’s offense:
—Put the skunk down!
—Ask God’s forgiveness for falling into Satan’s trap.
—Pray that the offense will be healed!